brilliant minds and tea.

I am not much for vociferous incantations. Must I scream in order for you to hear? The world is...

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:47:55 -0400

I am not much for vociferous incantations. Must I scream in order for you to hear?

The world is laudered with that in which is beautiful. Happiness. Happy tidings.

And yet I regress. I become self aware, I grow wary.

I do not wish to impose on those who are happy.

I am sad. But I cannot bother anyone else with such silly melancholy waves.

And that is when I realize…

I am quite very lonely.

septimus

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 19:37:00 -0500

i wish to go to sleep

for just a little while longer

for a hole that is much too deep

makes the heart grow much the same, fonder

A jovial laugh. A brittle giggle. A half hearted shake. A shattered soul. Being cognizant of the...

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 23:45:29 -0400

A jovial laugh. A brittle giggle. A half hearted shake. A shattered soul.

Being cognizant of the unsurmountable amount of failures I have subjected my entire life to has lead to a single point in the present. A present where I cannot see my future. I am fettered to the shackles of failure. I am but a childish berk who can never do anything right.

I am not burdened. But it aches. It hurts. It pains.

Smile even though your heart breaks. Smile?

They don’t understand. It’s not simply about being harangued. It’s about me letting you down. Being a complete and utter failure. Worthless. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t.

I’ve never wanted to subject you two through these trials. I wanted to do better. But I see now even I can’t do anything. Because I can’t. I was never at my limit. I failed. I’m a failure. I am sorry.

I don’t cry because you yelled. I cry because I let you down.

A storm is brewing.

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 16:51:04 -0400

A storm is brewing.

mechinism: it’s been a while since i drew this idiot

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 03:54:57 -0400

mechinism:

it’s been a while since i drew this idiot

Photo

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 03:03:21 -0400

The world is mundane and redundant, and I am a prodigious son of a bitch with ceaseless ideals and...

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 02:56:40 -0400

The world is mundane and redundant, and I am a prodigious son of a bitch with ceaseless ideals and thoughts and more thoughts and more and more. And then someday these thoughts will run rampant and I will implode, implode until no longer prodigious but rather a very infectious and apathetic ninny.

sextus.

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 02:19:00 -0400

I veer into a path of extrinsic abnormalities which I gaze in consternation, wondering in sheer perplexity at the peculiarities I am curtsied with. I am thus greeted by a two-forked road. One welcomes me with open arms, warm, and affable. And the other— idyllic, much too worn to be considered walkable and a fancied road to the average traveler.

Shall I travel the worse-for-wear path, or the one graced with the utmost effulgence? I am troubled. I am perplexed. I am incredulous and look at the direction of the worn, old, rustic road. The end of the pulchritudinous walkway promises the usual enticing token: a reassuring loving end which would assuage any, if not all the quandaries my cognizance is disconcerted with. But my interest is piqued by the haggard road. Fear palpitates and courses through one’s system, heart and head bellowing in fright at the road with an end that is not so congenial.

When push comes to shove, one must make a decision. And my decision has always been the same: I make my own road.

Wouldn’t it be easier to take the obvious road, one would ask? Others have perceive what is in front of them differently. They can be oblivious, or completely certain that their reason—their choice, is pure, indelible truth.

But where is the fun in that? Fun, with the easy way out?

The roads before me do not satiate me. They do not. They hinder me from what I am meant to achieve, stymie my walkway and encroach on all that I’ve sweat for. Every hurdle—every single bloody stick, rock— they mean nothing more to me but building blocks: a new paved road.

A wry smile works its way across my lips and I am thus relieved of the abrading grime which serves but to befoul my physique. A difficult burnish of soot, a light-hearted laugh.

It’s life.

Without Wax,

Nisa.

Photo

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 02:18:33 -0400

但我不是一个怪物.

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 22:29:30 -0400

但我不是一个怪物.

How often do we find ourselves entirely clearheaded? It’s quite refreshing. It’s been a...

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 15:11:14 -0400

How often do we find ourselves entirely clearheaded? It’s quite refreshing. It’s been a while since I’ve broken free of such idle threads. But—ah.

Heheh. Aloofness does have its wonders.

quintus.

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 19:49:00 -0400

Love? Love is an asinine, deliberate assessment: assertive when reciprocated, puerile and daft when shirked. No, it is most definitely not diminutive in a sense that amour, in all its pious essence, remains as an essential motif for life.

It’s such a silly concept. Moreso than an average berk who has no qualms with being browned off by the archetypical idiosyncrasies.

Without Wax,

Nisa.

I was told to tread in careful waters. It appears as if I wade through dangerous shores, instead....

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 17:54:51 -0400

I was told to tread in careful waters.

It appears as if I wade through dangerous shores, instead. How very gratifying.

It is perchance, that the undeniable truth we seek is but a hand’s reach away. No longer is...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 19:13:13 -0400

It is perchance, that the undeniable truth we seek is but a hand’s reach away. No longer is there a reason to doubt but rather to assume. It is almost laughable, to a certain extent where the basis of absoluteness betrays no mark of vagary. Palpable vocables serve to irrevocably truncate absurdities. But alas, what else remains?

Logic. Pure logic.

Heh. I bark at the archetypical simplicity of it all. If there were a day where I need not deal with...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 00:30:37 -0400

Heh. I bark at the archetypical simplicity of it all.

If there were a day where I need not deal with the lugubrious shite of the world I’d be a happy camper. That of course, seems like a marginal, paradigmatic wish only a simpleton could hope for. I’ve been well acquainted with the practicality of it all—it is, nevertheless, impossible to step away from being mordantly bitter.

Colour me evil.

I am like an outdated porcelain doll—a treasury surely not meant for this time period. My mind...

Sat, 12 May 2012 12:39:10 -0400

I am like an outdated porcelain doll—a treasury surely not meant for this time period. My mind works like archaic rust, not the contemporary, modern period. Was I meant for a greater purpose, to think like a scholar and yet to live a life au courant? Little pondering thoughts—idle thoughts. How do your work?

quartus

Sat, 12 May 2012 12:27:00 -0400

Even those with the pleasures of inclusion falter at the thought of alienation… A sudden withdrawal from heartache which serves to regress their very souls, a malignant growth that marks fright. Such fright should be thought as selfish, one would say. Selfish because he or she has peers who adoure them with typical mirth and jovial laughter. But ah, they forget that these individuals, too, are human. And as humans they are capable of mourning in isolationism. Because within time they realize that they do not have as many peers; that they as peers will often wander off to be more inclusive with others.

There are some who are met with desolation often; those who deserve inclusion and to seek happiness when it cannot be found. But what of those who appear happy— individuals who, with their facades are pained with the thoughts of not being worthy? Despite laughter, despite happiness—they too, can be unhappy. Yes indeed, it is pathetic for one to think such thoughts if they have what some don’t have. But it’s not whether he or she thinks he or she is worthy or not, rather, whether these melancholy thoughts will end up plaguing their souls. Plaguing them until they realize—‘oh. How pitiful.’

Certainly I am reserved when it comes to expressing idle thoughts of selfishness. Is it an act of selflessness which leads to these very actions? I am accosted by the idea of burdening many; it’s a maddening regime we do not seek to live with and yet here we are, a mad as a dime.

I mourn in fright. I scream for the mountains to move, for the seas to part so the heartache is gone. So these burdensome feelings of isolationism begone! Alas, I am no deity. Trees mourn and mountains are steady. Oceans shift and waves ricochet.

And so what have I left? To stay in the dark and continue regressing until I am no more? What happened to the happy little girl, one queries? You’ve got everything I do not have! Do I really, or does it appear as so?

Thoughts like these come and go… But they eat at your very soul once they become apparent. Eat it until you are not capable of formulating correct verses to spout and charm the masses; until you’ve wrought a facade, a mask. A close resemblance of fakeness, to hide. To fear. In your own isolation.

Without Wax,

Nisa.

nythroughthelens: Crossing Lower Broadway. Greenwich Village,...

Sun, 06 May 2012 14:59:13 -0400

nythroughthelens:

Crossing Lower Broadway. Greenwich Village, New York City.

In keeping with my promise to post a photo every week taken with my phone, here is this week’s mobile photography post. I am @newyorklens on Instagram (view my feed here). You can read about my thoughts on mobile photography and Instagram here and you can check out some of my Instagram photos on Flickr here.

As I experiment more and more with photo-editing apps for phone cameras, I find myself falling more and more in love with mobile photography. I branched out this past week and tried out Photoforge2 and VSCO and it was something of a revelation to me.

Photoforge2 has quickly become one of my core editing apps for my phone images. It has many of the same tools you would find in Photoshop and/or Lightroom and its features are staggering in their editing and creative capacities. I still also tinker around with Snapseed and Noir.

As my editing app arsenal has grown, I have found myself deeply interested in how the current crop of photo-sharing networks differ from each other. I really love Instagram. The community (or I suppose I should say ‘communities’) there is/are enthusiastic and very welcoming. I can’t remember the last time I had such a high response to things I have shared relative to the amount of people following me. People seem far more invested in the people they follow on Instagram than on other networks I have tried out so far. However, my trials are limited since I have literally only been dabbling in phone photography for a little over 3 weeks and I have only been using a few of the newer networks I have tried for 1 or 2 weeks

A few people I know via other photography communities online turned me on to the world of EyeEm (you can view my limited feed and my EyeEm account here) a few weeks ago and I have been on Streamzoo for as long as I have been on Instagram.

I came across this article last week: Is Instagram Defining, and Therefore Ruining, Mobile Photography? which made for interesting reading in light of my photo-sharing network dabbling. While I feel that some of the author’s points are a bit muddled, there are some interesting points made that could probably be applied to all networks online in terms of the democratization of all forms of photography, mobile or otherwise.
One thing that I think the author may have wrong is that there are some very vibrant, serious mobile photography communities on Instagram that are focused on the art of mobile photography. Instagram is the most popular out of all of the photo-sharing mobile networks though and with multitudes of users comes an increase in noise. I think this is where EyeEm shines for people who are interested in viewing and sharing mobile photography that transcends snapshot-status. I find the talent on EyeEm to be staggering. However, I think that the interface design (specifically for iPhones) is a bit lacking and in some cases non-intuitive. The community is also very small in comparison to a service like Instagram and it can be hard to break through and find other people to interact with.

I will continue to post to all 3 networks though for now. I find that each network has its own strengths and weaknesses. I do enjoy the random spontaneity of my Instagram feed and slipping in a cat photo (or two, or three…or ten :) ) doesn’t feel like an assault to the people following me versus on EyeEm where the level of photography is higher and I feel compelled to post more serious photos!

—-

View my photography for sale here, email me, or ask for help.

Funny how life works, though. You are there to aid others and yet they are never there to return the...

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 18:12:39 -0400

Funny how life works, though. You are there to aid others and yet they are never there to return the favour.

Photo

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 04:01:19 -0400